Chapter 37: Home Away From Home

The idea that she was there came to Sara with startling certainty. Never before had the cliff in her dreams felt this real, or the darkness seemed so hard to push back. Nanashi’s voice was there, but he was not visible. Then again, not much was. Sara didn’t even bother climbing down from the cliff; Nanashi could come to her this time. And he did.

“Why, Sara...one might think you were beginning to despise my company. It’s been so long since we last talked, and we were so rudely interrupted by that pyromaniac who struts about like he owns the place. A minor setback, but that will also be dealt with later. I see by your ring that you’re married.” Nanashi chuckled, a grating sound that made Sara wince. “How painfully you people buy happiness and cling to it like toddlers refusing to be separated from their toys.”

Sara glared at the spot where the voice seemed to be coming from. “You’re a part of his imagination, like almost everything else I’ve seen on, in, or above Shirn.”

Judging by his tone, Nanashi was smiling. “Oh, am I? If that’s so, why can’t you simply push me away? Why don’t your powers hold as much sway here? If I am, as you say, only an illusion of Darren’s mind, a phantom of his unused brainwaves...why am I able to do this?”

The silence that had been unbreakable in so many previous dreams was gone, split by the sound of fires burning, an occasional crow cawing, and a low groaning that set Sara’s teeth on edge. Her eyes slowly widened as she realized what exactly it was she was hearing, and as the fog lifted...seeing... “No...NO!”

She woke up screaming incoherently and flailing her arms. Fraydon held her arms down while Celia pinned her legs, trying to calm her. Fraydon looked into Sara’s eyes, seeing something that triggered a silent oath in her own mind.

Darren pushed aside the tent flap and stepped inside backwards, his arms stacked high with different plants and more stuffed in the concealed pockets of his gray cloak. “You’re awake. Good.” Seeing the way the three women were sitting, he set down the plants and was by Sara’s side in an instant. “Sara...what’s wrong?”

Sara turned to him with tear-filled eyes and an unsteady voice, barely able to utter a single word. “War.”

~

Thendat coughed as he inhaled a wisp of smoke that drifted up towards him from the campfire a dozen or so yards away. Okay, so maybe picking a tree downwind of the fire wasn’t the best idea for scouting. They had set up camp after crashing in a forest, finding enough supplies in the ruined ship to last quite a while. That had been at mid-day; it was fast approaching evening. Sara had saved them with her piloting and the wind she had summoned. And everyone had been okay, except for...

A leaf rustled and he turned to his left. “Darren. Shouldn’t you be looking after Sara?”

Darren’s eyes would haunt him forever. “She’s awake and uninjured...at least physically.”

Thendat pushed down the cold ashes he felt in the pit of his stomach, asking “And mentally?”

Darren turned away slightly, pain obvious in his features and stance. “She...she doesn’t seem to understand much...much of anything. She’s alive...and conscious...but there’s not much of a reaction to voices, to anything Fraydon does, or...to me. When she does speak...it’s mostly incoherent. I don’t know if she hit her head in the crash or if she used too much of her power, or...I don’t know. I...I just don’t know...” He stood and stared straight ahead. “All I know is that Shirn no longer seems friendly to me. I used to feel so at home, and now...it seems so foreign. The wind, the earth, and the rain that’s going to start soon...it all hints at rebellion, at...” He trailed off, understanding beginning to show on his face.

Thendat nodded. “So you’ve felt it too.”

Darren clenched his fists and looked up. “I should’ve known...I should’ve known she would be targeted...because of me.”

Thendat’s tone showed his obvious surprise. “Then you know who it is that did this?”

Darren smiled unexpectedly, though bitterly. “It’s not as much a mystery as it seems, once you’re deep enough to understand.”

“But how-” Thendat’s question was cut off by Celia calling Darren’s name. Darren was down the tree and headed for the camp in an instant, leaving Thendat to his wonderings as rain began dripping through the leaves.

Celia whispered into Darren’s ear for a moment. The latter nodded and quietly entered the makeshift shelter, one of three they had made. Kneeling beside Sara, Darren felt her forehead.

“No pain. No response. No fever. No warmth at all. She just lays there, eyes closed but not asleep. It’s as if someone blocked all her conscious thought.” Fraydon spoke in a dull tone of voice, the same way Darren’s eyes looked. “I wasn’t able to find any traces of mental manipulation or attacks. It just doesn’t make sense.”

“It makes sense.” Darren’s calm voice made Fraydon sit a little straighter. “I think I understand a little better why Destiny was such a protected place. Up there, with the rules and laws...there was no dispute that protocol couldn’t handle. It could have been a perfect environment, the safest place in the universe. And I destroyed it...to preserve a way of life that almost everybody hates.”

Fraydon shook her head. “You couldn’t have foreseen this. Nobody could have. You did what you thought was right, and I still believe your idea was the best. Though we may not see the effects now...technology would have destroyed the lives of these simple people.”

Darren nodded slowly and stood, mentally emblazoning Sara’s bedridden form into his mind. “I know. And it’s time we headed back to civilization, if for no other reason than to face what comes.”

Fraydon looked startled at his words. “You expect something. Something...bad?”

Darren smiled bitterly as he exited the tent. “They’re people.” A quick jump, a swing through the trees, and he was next to Thendat again. “We leave as soon as there is light to see by. Wake me first. Where’s Tim?”

Thendat pointed to a branch above him. “Up there. He wanted to see the rain and the surrounding area...he says he’s forgotten what this place was like.”

“I was on Destiny an awful long time.” Tim slid down a branch and perched awkwardly near Thendat. “Darren...I’m sorry.” Darren dipped his head in acknowledgement. “If there’s anything I can do...let me know.”

Darren nodded again. “Just be ready to move out at dawn. We’re in for a half-day’s hike back to the palace at the least, and I’d like to get inside before it really gets hot.”

He reached up and pulled himself higher in the tree and was almost at the top when Thendat called to him. “What about Acerin? He disappeared soon after we set up camp.”

Darren paused for a moment. “I wouldn’t worry about him. He can handle himself...and besides...we’ll see him again soon enough.” He began climbing again. “Fate is funny like that.”

Thendat stared upward at the canvas of wet leaves and blinked as drops of rain fell into his eyes. “Not staying to watch over her?”

The rustling above him stopped. “No...I’ll know if anything changes. I need some...fresh air.” The tree shook as Darren leaped from the branches and hit the ground running. Cresting the nearest rise, he left the ground and soared towards the east, out of sight in no time at all.

Thendat sighed and was about to climb down the tree when Tim stopped him. “Listen.” The wind had started to blow rain further and further towards the east, causing the rain to hit the tree at a different angle and changing the sounds made by hitting different leaves. The next instant, Darren passed overhead, coming from the west. Thendat was at the top of the tree in seconds, staring at the path Darren had taken. Did he really just circle all Shirn?

His answer came shortly afterwards, when Darren flew by again. Over and over he flew across the sky, lighting it up with a fiery trail.

As Darren’s speed increased and he covered more and more of Shirn, his mind reached out and connected with various others. Losing his thoughts in the bliss of speed, he was able to concentrate on fewer things, but with a greater focus. The time has come...evil is here.

Thendat watched for a bit, and then motioned for Tim to follow as he left his perch. “We’d best get sleep. We’ll need it if we’re going to make it to the palace in half a day.” Noticing Tim’s hesitation, he smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry, he’ll be alright. We all have different ways of dealing with pain and grief...his are publicly private. Everybody can see...but nobody understands.”

Tim nodded slowly and followed Thendat to the tent they shared. Rather than undressing, he lay down and closed his eyes. After several hours of tossing and turning, unable to sleep, he crept out of the tent, wrapping a spare blanket around himself as he walked a bit. The rain had stopped after a short time, so the ground was soft but not muddy. It was perfect ground for moving about quietly. A curious movement caught his eye and he traveled towards it quietly.

Darren sat cross-legged in the middle of a circle of rocks, moonlight illuminating his features. Every now and then, one would float up to eye-level, hang there for a moment, and slowly sink back down to the ground.

Tim stepped forward. “Darren Kinsley, the Feladána...and his rocks. So the rumors have a bit of truth in them after all.”

Darren didn’t move. “Most usually do. You should be asleep.”

Tim shrugged, causing the blanket to move and a chill to seep in. He shivered. “Why aren’t you in the tent? You must be freezing, and you’ll need-“

“Sleep?” Darren smiled and stood. “I won’t need sleep. Why would an immortal being sleep? If I don’t sleep, I won’t wake up...and the waking is always worse than the constant dull pain.”

Tim bowed his head. “I see. You think there’s something you could’ve done differently.”

Darren nodded. “When we crashed, I didn’t think she’d use so much of her power to save us...I didn’t think to help. Do you know what the last words I said to her were? ‘You’d better focus on getting us all down alive.’ Not ‘I love you,’ or...or anything even remotely conveying how I feel...”

“Darren...even if you had said something like that, would it have been enough? Would you be satisfied with yourself if you had said ‘I love you’ before this happened, or would you still be moaning about it?” Tim’s words rubbed Darren the wrong way, but he couldn’t deny the truth in them. “Then all you can do now is worry about what to do next, rather than what you ‘should have done.’ Besides...she’s not dead.”

“Yet.” Darren sat down again. “They’re toying with all of us...in a world of my own creation.”

Tim blinked. “What?” Darren shook his head and waved it off, burying his face in his hands. Tim sighed and stepped forward. “Darren, I know right now the darkness seems incredibly deep. Like your only light has been extinguished, it seems so hard to go on. But...Sara still lives. You have immense power, more than any and all of us. There is a chance for you both.”

Darren moved a finger and glared at Tim with one eye. “Tell that to my mind. I’ve thought through this, you know. It doesn’t change or take away the pain at all.”

Tim nodded slowly. “You’re right...the pain is still there. Nobody can help you with that right now. But sleep will make it easier to withstand the pain.”

Darren smiled unexpectedly. “Funny how you keep changing the subject back to me going to bed.” Tim sighed, prompting Darren to add “Don’t think I haven’t been listening. I know what you’re telling me is important and true, but it won’t sink in until later.”

Tim ventured a small smile. “Exactly. It takes time to adjust how you view your life once someone you love and care about has been removed from it.” He turned and started to walk back to the camp, but stopped for a moment. Glancing back, he spoke quietly, forcing Darren to listen carefully. “You’re lucky, Darren Kinsley...Sara has only been removed from you temporarily. Remember...remember that others have suffered far worse when it comes to losing loved ones.” With that, he padded back to the tent and climbed in.

Darren stared after him for a moment. Others have suffered far worse...so why does it seem like my pain is the worst? Is it human nature to be so selfish and concerned with yourself? Always wanting the best for the ones you care about...so that they love you? Is that all love is...convenience?

He cut off that line of thinking abruptly and stood up. No...there is more. Sara taught me that much, just by living. Tim’s right...I’m grieving as though Sara were already dead...I have no right to complain. Now...I think of what to do next. The circle of rocks left his control and became animated, spinning around him without any sense of direction, momentarily startling him. So...that’s the way you want to play. A chuckle escaped his throat. Okay, but only tonight. After this...

One flew towards the back of his head. Darren spun on his heel and smashed it to dust with his palm. Three spiraled towards his chest and disappeared as they hit a barrier. Turning to a small clump, Darren easily obliterated half a dozen rocks with a single kick. By this time, an uncontrollable grin was spread across his face as he realized the irony of destroying more rocks, but this time against his own will.

When the last rock was gone, Darren stood staring at the stars. In a world of my own making...a world that has turned against me, its creator...will my own strength be enough? Against the world, perhaps...but what about...him?

He headed towards the camp, his thoughts confused, yet strangely calm.

When the rest of his group woke, most of the supplies were already packed, with Darren nowhere in sight. But as soon as Tim and Thendat finished tearing down the camp, he walked over to the packs and shouldered one. Then he walked to the blanket where Celia and Fraydon had laid Sara, picked her up like she weighed nothing, and faced them all. “Let’s go.”

They followed him, trusting that he knew the way. Fraydon and Thendat had both been unable to determine their location, despite having an extensive knowledge of Shirn and its terrain. Tim had no knowledge of Shirn whatsoever, so Thendat did his best to teach him what he’d picked up over the years. Fraydon conversed with Celia on various experiences she’d been through, the differences involved in being a Receptor, and other topics.

Darren looked neither to the left, nor the right, but traveled in a straight line. Occasionally, when his pace seemed to lag, he would glance downwards at the often-sleeping form in his arms and seem to gather determination from somewhere deep within himself.

A small town came into view slightly to the left of the group, yet Darren didn’t even look twice. The noise of people reached his ears from the right, however, and that caught his attention fast. Running his eyes over each person off in the distance, he stopped instantly and turned to Thendat. “Go find cover quickly. Don’t let yourself be seen with us.”

Confused, Thendat hurried off to the nearest tree, looking back every so often. Fraydon, Thendat, and Celia were all watching him as he left, so Darren took the opportunity to use illusion. His features changed, his clothing colored and became like Thendat’s, and by the time his group looked back at Darren, he looked completely like Thendat. Even his voice had changed slightly. After reassuring them it was him, Darren ignored the usual questions about why and how and headed for the village, deviating from his previous path.

~

Daniel Welm ducked a rock and backed away from the mob of angry villagers, shielding the few people behind him. “What’s wrong with all of you?” To think...this used to be my village.

One man brandished a pitchfork and stepped forward. “You tell us you come from the sky in a strange vehicle, survived, and expect a hearty welcome and shelter? You’re either a demon or a liar, and we don’t like both.”

Daniel waved his hands frantically. “But I lived here for so long! Don’t any of you recognize me?”

Any further words he had to say were cut short by a different man running from the direction Daniel’s group had come from. “Chief! Chief! I saw it with my own eyes! He’s not lying, there’s a strange vehicle made of a strange metal and with lights! Big, unnatural lights, like individual suns!”

The chief turned to Daniel, his face hardening. “I know what they are. I have friends in the palace that whisper of a town high in the sky, supported by magicks and exotic machines. They also said that something’s happened up there, and everybody’s fleeing for their lives. Did you have something to do with it? Did ya?” He jabbed in Daniel’s direction with the pitchfork.

“No, he did not.” Darren stepped out from the shadows, still disguised as Thendat and still carrying Sara. “I did, and I have my reasons.” Most people recognized the form of Thendat and left confused, but a few stayed, including the chief and several of his armed friends. Celia, Fraydon, and Tim watched from around the corner of a building.

Daniel stared at Darren, not recognizing him in his disguise. “You...you destroyed Destiny?” Darren nodded and was met with unconcealed anger. “Do you realize the full consequences of what you’ve done?”

”I believe I do, but go ahead if you’ve thought of something else” replied Darren.

The former leader of the Gray Knights strode forward until he was within reach of Darren, who told Fraydon and Tim to back down even as they stepped forward with hands on their weapons. Tim had scavenged a combat knife from the ship. They complied, and Daniel stared into Darren’s eyes. “You have ruined the lives of every employee on Destiny. Their entire lives were spent in a sheltered environment, without any idea of what life is like here. They will die here.”

Darren shook his head no. “The people on Shirn are kind and will teach every misplaced person a trade or ways to survive. They will come to love the simple life.” Seeing Daniel’s disbelief, he continued “Or perhaps you were wishing you were a war hero, decorated with medals and ribbons, prized and paraded about?”

That struck a nerve. Daniel’s arms shot out and gripped Darren by the throat, lifting him into the air, Sara and all. “You dare suggest I do this for self-gain? For self-profit? What would you know about being a hero, traitor?”

“More than you could learn in a lifetime, Mr. Welm.” Darren dropped his illusion and watched recognition, horror, and a smattering of other emotions travel across the other man’s face. Still cloaked all in gray, showing his face for the first time, Darren was unmistakably familiar to everyone present.

“You...you can’t be...who are you?” Daniel choked out as he dropped Darren and cringed, throwing up an arm to shield himself. The real Thendat crept up behind Celia, Fraydon, and Tim, watching silently.

“My name...is Darren Kinsley.” Understanding dawned on Daniel as Darren continued. “Your own squadron was named after me, after your ‘rescuer and hero.’ You would know me as Peregrin...the Gray Knight. ‘If I can do even one small portion of what that man has done for others, then I can die a happy man,’ you said. What will you do now, Daniel Welm? What goes through your mind when you can’t reconcile your hero with this ‘villainous’ act of destruction of one man’s little world?”

Darren waited for an answer and was met only with a stunned silence. Softening his tone, he pressed on. “Destiny was Commander Garcia’s last-ditch effort at controlling his own world. He believed himself to be above the rules he had made, and so there had to be a balance...” Darren trailed off as his mind raced. I sound...exactly like Jared...exactly like my father.

Shaking his head to clear it, he sighed and looked Daniel square in the eye. “I saved you years ago. Since then, you valiantly pursued your ideals and I have no problem with that. The only reason I destroyed Destiny is because I believe the people of Shirn will be better off without the technology we could have used if the Laecans were defeated.”

Darren shifted Sara in his arms and kept talking. “You owe me nothing, Daniel...and neither do I owe you anything. You are free to come back to your shop here in this little village, or free to fight me if you choose. Your path is not chosen by a system of government, by a computer, or by anyone else but you. You are truly free of the burden of technology.”

The chief butted in angrily. “He may be free to come back here and welcome to him, but we were promised easier lives because of this city in the sky. The king promised us that if we worked harder and paid just a little more in taxes now, there would be far less work and much less to pay for in the future. If you destroyed it...you must face the judgment of the king on behalf of all the people!”

The several people remaining from the mob that carried weapons edged towards Darren, who grimaced. I saved them all once...and they repay me thusly. Fools. Reaching into his mind for strength to attack, he stopped suddenly. “Wait. I will come peacefully, on three conditions.”

The advancing men glanced at the chief, who rubbed his chin and eyed Darren. “Name them.”

Darren jerked his head towards the group that he had seen earlier. “You will accept these people as refugees, treat them with kindness, and teach them how to live peacefully here on Shirn. They will learn. You will also show great respect for Mr. Welm, who fought valiantly for your cause up in the city in the sky, never losing a single battle as he did his best to make real the promises the king made.”

He turned towards his own group and bid them step out of hiding. “These people are my friends and followers. Though they would die for me and I for them, they had no part in the destruction of the sky-city and are guiltless of any charge you would bring against them. They will be allowed to follow me to the royal city and speak with whatever leading official still rules. Whenever they choose, they may leave in peace and safety.”

The chief nodded slowly. “Acceptable terms so far. And the third?”

Darren looked down at the quiet body in his arms, then up at the chief as his eyes became cold and hard. “This woman is my wife and is sick with a disease that no Shirnish healer can cure. She will come with me, I will always have her near, and nobody will be allowed to lay a hand on her. No matter what happens to me, she will not be moved or touched by any except those I trust: my friends and followers.”

The chief found no fault with this in his own mind, but still had to keep up his bravado in front of his village and friends. “And what if we disagree with this last term?”

Darren’s eyes flashed angrily as he recognized the bluff. “Then you will find that the Gray Knight no longer fights for you, but against you.” An image formed in the chief’s mind; gray armor superimposed on Darren’s form, and coupled with the air Darren exuded, it made him look even more formidable than the villagers remembered.

The chief backed down quickly and agreed to Darren’s terms, pointing Daniel’s group to various houses that would shelter them. Before he left, Daniel spoke to Darren. “I don’t understand you or your motivation completely...but your self-sacrificial nature speaks highly of you. You remain my rescuer and hero; I realize you know more about these people than I do...and though I may not fully realize why until later...I thank you.”

Darren smiled and nodded, then followed the chief as he led a few of the remaining armed villagers towards the royal palace. Thendat, Fraydon, Celia, and Tim followed Darren as he carried Sara, a somber procession towards an uncertain future.

- posted by Nick @ 1/16/2005 01:50:00 AM