Chapter 39: Empowered

Sara moved as far away as possible from Nanashi, a futile action given her current degenerated state. “So then...you’re the person in my dreams...the person responsible for all this...how is it you’re Darren’s enemy and yet you look so alike?”

Even at a close distance, it was easy to mistake Darren for Nanashi...or worse, Nanashi for Darren. Nanashi was similar to Darren in build, facial features, and voice...though his voice differed more than the other characteristics. It had the harsh, abrasive tone of Darren when he was tired or severely irritated. It made Sara wince every time she heard it, and here it was constantly used.

“Let me explain, if I may. I am Darren. Darren is me. You cannot separate the two of us, which is what Darren tried to do by creating Shirn. It is supposed to be an escape, yes...an escape from reality, and an escape from himself. Unfortunately for me, he realized I was part of him and split us in an attempt to lose me.”

Sara’s head was still cloudy. “So...what are you, then?”

Nanashi smiled unpleasantly. “I am everything Darren is not. I am the anger that he never allows to surface, the fear he never shows, the power he never dares use. I am his darker side, the blackest of black.” Glancing at Sara, his smile widened. “You see, for every side he reveals, another is hidden. You didn’t think you could change that, did you?”

~

Darren spread a large map across the heavy table. “They’ll hold Sara at the rear of the army. They know we won’t risk an assault from the rear because she’ll get caught in the middle of it, and so they’ll only have to defend two sides because they’ll have the mountains on the east. They’ll be strongest at their north position, but west will only be slightly weaker.”

He glanced around the small room where not too long ago they had gathered to report their success in finding the Stone of Naugan.

“I want at least two messengers to all towns within a day’s walk. Get them there with horses, send letters by bird, do what you have to do, but get them there quickly.” Darren marked several key spots on the map with wax. “Outposts and patrols go here, here, and here. We attack as soon as the scouts give a report on the enemy’s numbers and strengths, and hope that the reinforcements arrive swiftly.”

He sat down, rubbing his eyes. I feel so tired...so drained. Looking around him, he half-smiled and said “We’ve got the advantage depending on when we attack. Daylight is best, but we need to know what day.” Motioning to Thendat and Fraydon, he stood and said “I’d like you two to lead different scouting parties to the spots I’ve marked. You have your pick of people from the town. Start as soon as you can.” They nodded and left, Fraydon shooting glances back at Darren.

Darren waited until they left and turned to the Destiny survivors. “Tim, Celia, I’d like you to help manage troops. Form cohorts, find veterans to train the rookies, place them in manageable units. I know you two can do it well.” He smiled a little more and then moved at last to- “Abuwan. Have you chosen someone to lead for you?”

Abuwan smiled. Darren grimaced internally; the smile was one of sarcasm, purposed and mocking. “I have chosen Zak as my general.” The comically-dressed man cowering behind Abuwan stepped forward, jingling.

Darren nodded slowly. “You send your court jester? Very well. This may help me more than you know, Abuwan...much more than you know. They say the only one wiser than a king is the king’s fool.” He burst out laughing and motioned for Zak to come forward. “Come. I have a use for both you and, surprisingly, your former master.”

~

Several hours later Sara’s mind was returning, gradually becoming less cloudy as she rested. But even if her power had been returning, she was neither physically nor mentally ready to use it just yet...and it was beyond her reach, kept from her by Nanashi’s strength. At least now all her dreams made sense, all but a few. She could understand the relationship between Darren and Nanashi, but...if Darren and Nanashi were two halves of a whole, then she was married to one half, and the other...the other half taunted her, prevented her from being strong, insulted her, and subjected her to nightmares.

Where do they join? Sara sighed in frustration. If Darren was without his completely dark side, but still felt its influence...did that mean Nanashi was still influenced by Darren? And if that was true...

She avoided conscious thought as she felt darkness draw near. A few seconds later, Nanashi entered the tent and looked at her with a small amount of respect. “Even if you mask your thoughts from me, it won’t help him. You don’t know anything about Darren that I haven’t already known. He hasn’t revealed anything to you that I haven’t experienced myself.” Sara closed her eyes and ignored him, still clearing her mind.

To her ears, the wind picked up slightly, but Nanashi jerked as if someone had slapped him. Rushing outside, he glanced up as his troops did the same. The only clue he had was a slight displacement in the clouds, almost as if...

Nanashi re-entered the tent and smiled at Sara, though with her eyes closed she couldn’t see it. “Darren’s gone for a little flight.” He closed his eyes and focused on the displacement, trying to scry intent from Darren’s mind.

Sara felt, rather than saw Nanashi flinch. Opening her eyes, she smiled slightly as the man stood up, mumbling curses at Darren in a strange language. “What happened? What did he do?” Sara asked with the tiniest note of triumph in her voice.

Nanashi glared at her with unconstrained hatred. “He has hardened his will to fight and won’t let anything get in his way. Rocks or blood...I wonder, which he will choose?”

Sara said nothing, but her mind ran through events on Destiny in fast-forward. Nanashi stared at her thoughtfully, rubbing his chin. “I also wonder whether he’ll be able to avoid killing as much, or even the rocks, as he told you he would...” He laughed unpleasantly upon seeing Sara’s startled look.

“But...I thought he couldn’t read minds! He said so himself...why would he lie about that? How can you...” Sara narrowly avoided a quaver in her voice.

The smile she got in return was malevolent. “He won’t let himself read minds. He told no lie; he can’t. But it’s not for lack of ability...no, he could destroy reality as you see it, if only he allowed himself the full extent of his power!” Nanashi exited the tent, still smiling. “You really would have been better off with that Antonio boy. He may be a bit controlling, but at least he doesn’t have a God complex.”

~

Darren soared over the enemy camp, concealing a small leather bag strapped to his back. Abuwan’s scribes had been kept busy for the past couple of hours, writing messages to the more remote towns of Shirn. Though he could find nothing wrong with the principle, something inside him rankled at becoming a messenger. Even if it was the fastest way, Darren was sure there was more he could be doing than this. He sighed as he dodged a mountain and adjusted a strap. Still, it was better than sitting back and staring at a map for days. More than anything else, he wished with all his heart he could speak to Sara, if only for a second. But any communication would be intercepted, mental or otherwise. He was just going to have to wait until he had rescued Sara and destroyed the enemy. His hand tightened into a fist, clutching the strap. Every last one.

Fraydon glanced up from her cover of trees just in time to see Darren fly over. Where does that man draw his strength from? Taking advantage of the momentary confusion, she slipped towards the west side of the enemy encampment, looked over the formations and shelters briefly, and then dashed back to the trees east of the camp. After scribbling some figures and notes onto a loose scrap of parchment, she motioned one of her faster scouts over and whispered “Show this to Tim and Celia right away. Avoid Abuwan if you can help it. Fast!” The scout nodded and sped towards the city, always keeping her distance from the shifting mass of armor and banners.

Thendat saw the scout from his position north of the camp and intercepted her. After scanning the message quickly, he added his own notes and let her finish her run to the city. Looking back over the army, his heart sank. Logistically, we shouldn’t even be thinking of fighting. Thendat looked up into the sky and sighed. Darren...I sure hope you know what you’re doing.

~

Sara stumbled out of the cot and towards the tent door, catching herself on the flap to support her trembling legs. With the sound of ripping cloth, the flap fell to the ground as Sara collapsed in the entrance. Pushing herself up with both hands, she stood and left the tent. The sentries outside didn’t bother her; they were meant to keep people out. Nanashi had assumed she’d be weak from his earlier attacks...and she was. Sara doubted she’d make it out of the camp, but she had to try. Inconveniencing people with her rescue was getting old.

There seemed to be fewer tents to the south...but which way had Darren gone? Sara closed her eyes for a moment, trying to remember. She hadn’t seen which way Nanashi looked...opening her eyes, she found herself sprawled on the ground. Odd. When did I fall? How long have I been here? Realizing it could be minutes or hours and she wouldn’t know, she forced herself to her feet and moved in one direction, never looking to the right or left. With any luck, it would be some time before Nanashi-

“Noticed? Sorry to disappoint, but I’m quite good at keeping track of what’s going on in my camp. That includes you, little Sara.” There he was, still smiling that irritating smile. “The only reason I don’t simply kill you now is because you provide protection for my entire rear flank, not to mention the possibility of your usage as a valuable bargaining tool. Doesn’t having a use sound nice?”

His last remark hit Sara deeper than she’d expected. Silently seething, she gritted her teeth and continued walking in the same direction.

“It would be easier to just let yourself be used, Sara. Just stop trying to struggle. Stop trying to carve your own path. Let circumstances go on without your interference, and there won’t be any more pain for you.”

Sara spoke for the first time in hours. “Do I appear that selfish to you? Selfish enough to throw away an entire world just for my well-being? I’m going to enjoy watching you die, Nanashi.” She sped towards Nanashi suddenly, a burst of energy fueling a desperate attack.

The latter merely sidestepped and was about to slash at her exposed back with a short sword when another sword blocked his. Nanashi lashed out furiously at the new foe, only to stop short when the enemy jumped back and held up a hand in deference. Glancing back at an unconscious Sara, Nanashi glared at Antonio. “You are interfering in my plans again,” he hissed.

Antonio bowed. “I apologize, commander. I came to deliver news of the army, and thought it was a bad idea to throw out such a good card from our hand so early in the game. If I misunderstand, then do whatever you want.”

Nanashi smiled in spite of himself. Antonio wavered between his usual manner of speaking and a polite style used to address higher-ranking officers with little regard for either, succeeding only in entertaining his listeners. “And what news do you bring, young general?” Noticing the way the younger man’s eyes sparkled at such a title, he chuckled to himself. To keep such a man loyal, all it takes is a well-fed ego.

“Several of our villages report to us that Darren has sent messages to almost every inhabited place on Shirn, requesting assistance of any kind for his army. We’ve already begun countermeasures and the spreading of misinformation, so this is only a formality.”

Nanashi pondered this for a moment, and then walked towards the outskirts of the camp. “Return the woman to her tent, and occupy yourself with something until I return.” Noticing the look of uninhibited lust that appeared briefly on Antonio’s face, he sighed. “Just remember that Darren will discover any harm done to her. Any harm. And seeing as she is his wife...” The amount of surprise this new information caused Antonio almost caused Nanashi to laugh as he turned and walked away from the camp.

Once Sara was again placed in her tent and inside the cot, Antonio turned to leave. Glancing back at her sleeping form, he stopped just inside the doorway and sighed. A wave of anguish washed over his features again, and he took a labored step towards Sara, then another. Reaching her, he extended a shaky hand towards her face, as if to touch her, then suddenly clenched his hand into a fist and raised it with the full intent of bringing it down into her face.

Sara’s hand shot up and gripped Antonio’s wrist with a strength that seemed to fill the room. Her eyes flew open, shining with a clear blue fire that burned without heat, covered her face, and extended to her hand. The grip on Antonio’s wrist became vice-like, slowly crushing it and contorting Antonio’s face with more pain. A heavy voice echoed in the air, neither male nor female; Sara’s mouth remained closed.

“Your actions betray your thoughts. You are an unworthy and unwelcome addition to this reality.” Antonio felt his consciousness being forcibly weakened, and his eyes became heavy as the voice throbbed inside his head. After a moment, he fell to the ground, unconscious, and was carried out of the tent on a wave of blue mist. The last thing he heard was the voice whispering quietly, disturbingly, “There must be...a lack of balance...”

The blue light left the tent and faded from Sara’s eyes. Her arm fell back on the cot and she lay quietly, in a dreamless sleep, unaware of all that had just happened.

Some distance away, Acerin smiled and let the magic fade from his hands, blue light dying in a quiet triumph.

~

Darren sighed as he landed on top of the castle back in the Royal City. With all the messages delivered, he could only hope the responses he received weren’t any indication of the warriors the towns and villages would send.

As he walked the long, quiet stone hallways towards the war room, memories of unrelated places surrounded him with every step. Would I give all I have now to rejoin the world of waking? Given the choice- he stopped and stared at the ceiling for a long moment. Do I...even have a choice? Could I escape my nature even if I tried? A small smile played on his lips. Can he?

Tim interrupted his musings with a quiet “Darren?”

Darren stared at the ceiling a moment longer before looking at Tim. “Yes?”

“Have you noticed the color of my eyes?”

Darren squinted slightly and tilted his head to one side playfully. “They seem...brighter.”

“They’re constantly silver!” Tim glared at him accusingly. “Don’t tell me you didn’t have anything to do with this!”

Darren chuckled. “I can honestly say that I had no direct involvement in this.”

Tim was still suspicious. “And indirectly?”

Darren grinned. “Indirectly, I know who helped you throw that knife. It was she who gave you your silver eyes and whatever abilities they bestow upon you. However...I didn’t ask for her help, and I can’t tell you anything more than that.”

Tim sighed and leaned against a wall, facing Darren. “Putting that aside for the moment, what are you going to do? There’s no time to think before all-out war. We’re low on resources, low on allies, and extremely low on motivation to fight. I’ve been listening to what the people have to say, and they’re unhappy. To them, just because an army is three miles away, it doesn’t mean it’s a threat to them, mostly because it’s not moving and it’s not interested in them. No, it’s a threat to you.” He shifted slightly and continued. “I’m not blaming you...Fraydon and Thendat told me a lot about you, and frankly...I’m impressed at your mental capacity. But even though almost everybody in this place is fake...doesn’t something inside you resist the slaughter of thousands?”

Darren nodded slowly. “Yes. And that is why war is inevitable. As impressive as my mind may be, a human brain will never be enough to win this battle. We’ll need help. And I’m not without allies that I’ve been careful to acquire and treat well. There’s always an element of chance involved with any game played...war is no different. The player who treats each pawn like the king will lose. Sacrifices must be made.”

Tim stiffened. “With Sara’s life on the line, how can you say that?”

Darren seemed about to say something, and then stopped. Turning away, he resumed his journey down the halls. At the end, he hesitated and turned back towards “Tim! Don’t lose hope. Without hope, you lose your desire to act. Your will is broken. And in this place...that means death.”

~

Celia rubbed her eyes and stared at the ceiling of her room dully. The stones blurred and swam in her field of vision, leaving her with a raging headache and more than a bit irritated. Even the quiet knock at the door seemed like a battering ram to her indignant ears. Grumbling, she stumbled to the door and yanked it open, mouth open to rain down curses upon whatever foolish soul dared disturb her rest – only to find Daniel Welm standing there, calmly leaning against the doorway.

After a moment of wishing for the ground to swallow her whole, Celia smiled politely and invited him in. Daniel declined, also smiling. He was merely a messenger, he said. His village had sent him and several others, and he was told to report to one of the two top strategists with their logistics. Tim was nowhere to be found, so...

“I got it, I got it. Do you have the numbers with you, or are you going to make me go out in the cold, dark night?” Celia considered pouting for a second, and then realized it would do no good.

Daniel laughed and handed her a bit of paper. “Here you are.” As if suddenly realizing she was fully clothed, he wondered “It’s been many hours since night fell. You okay, or just a night person?”

Celia smiled in spite of herself. “If I had to pick between the two...then I’m a night person.”

“What a coincidence! I take my walks through the city late at night. Perhaps you’d like to join me? I’ve been told I’m a great listener, or if you prefer, I can talk about myself all night.” He grinned and winked at her, which under normal circumstances would have made her swoon. Instead, she rolled her eyes and stepped back into the room.

”Give me a moment to grab something warmer and I’ll be right out.” Closing the door, Celia ran to her cloak, threw it on, and then paused for a moment. Daniel was certainly being friendlier than usual...or more forward. And why didn’t she feel as...nervous around him? Maybe it’s because our lives have changed. He’s not a leader anymore; it seems...like we’re equals. Opening the door, she smiled despite the continual throbbing in her head and followed him through the castle.

~

Thendat and Fraydon lay out in the tall grass of an open field halfway between the enemy camp and their home base. Thendat had spent some of his time carving a small wooden instrument with randomly placed holes, while Fraydon was sharpening various parts of her arsenal.

Suddenly, Thendat turned to Fraydon and said “Did you ever think about finding a husband?” The long knife that Fraydon had been sharpening slipped, barely missing her left hand.

Glaring at him, she brandished the weapon. “You’d better have a good reason for asking that.”

Laughing quietly, Thendat held up his hands. “I do, actually.” As Fraydon turned her attention back to the knife, Thendat tossed the instrument back and forth in his hands. “You and I both know what place we hold in this world. We’re not real in any sense of the word.” Fraydon nodded and waited for him to continue. “Idle thoughts, really...but is everything we think pre-ordained?”

Fraydon looked up at the stars. “What do you mean? We’re thinking of this right now, aren’t we?”

Thendat sighed and stood up. “Yes, but what if Darren created us...sort of pre-made? And we’re just wound up springs, living our lives as the spring turns, slowly unwinding a pre-set course until the end...and it’s over. We’ve served our purpose. Following that train of thought...if he wanted to, he could make us more than friends, or even enemies...it seems so surreal.”

Fraydon yanked him back down into the grass. “You forget, though...he seems genuinely surprised by some of what we do. He doesn’t expect what we do sometimes. And if he did, he certainly wouldn’t feel the need to act surprised...right?”

Thendat sighed again and shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. For as much power as he wields, and considering his claim to Shirn...he seems powerless over certain events and people.” His eyes seemed to brighten for a moment. “Unless...he chooses to be that way.”

Fraydon glanced at him, and then smacked his shoulder. “That’s just stupid. Why would he choose to subject himself to this if he could choose to end it?”

Once again, Thendat turned to Fraydon. “Go ahead and ask him.”

“Ask me what?”

The pair on the ground leapt to their feet and glared at Darren, who smiled politely and repeated himself. “Ask me what?”

Thendat nudged Fraydon, who glared at him and, sighing, turned back to Darren. “We were thinking, and-“

“No.” Darren cut off the question with an answer.

“But then how-“

“I just do.”

“And we-“

“Can’t tell you that.”

Fraydon threw a tuft of grass at Darren, who surprised her by letting it hit his chest. She started to speak. “What was-“

“I know more than I could explain. I couldn’t even begin to tell you...at least, not now.” Darren smiled helplessly. “I’m sorry.”

Fraydon stooped to kick Thendat, who had already begun laughing uncontrollably before Fraydon had thrown the grass, and then turned back to Darren. “At least tell us that you know what you’re doing.”

Darren silently sighed. “I wish I could.”

Fraydon sighed loudly and was about to head back to the castle when she stopped suddenly and looked hard at Darren. Suddenly, she grinned and turned back around, sitting down and resuming her watch.

Thendat looked from her to Darren to Fraydon again, completely confused. “Why is she so happy?”

Darren smiled cryptically and floated slowly skyward in the direction of the city. “She knows.”

~

Tim wandered the city, his mind a chaotic mix of confusion and amazement. His vision was better, his hearing was sharper...but he seemed to lose a sense of self. Humanity seemed an elaborate hoax, a lie to herd people like sheep.

Coming across a park, he noticed a large oak tree by a bench. Clambering up one, he relaxed against a large branch that extended over the bench, hiding it from his view. Climbing trees was still a new experience, one he hoped never got old. There was a simple pleasure in enjoying nature. He did miss technology a bit, but nothing that couldn’t be dealt with.

Voices floated up from below him. It sounded like people sitting on the bench. Well, no matter. It wouldn’t bother his private reverie. Though the voices seemed oddly familiar...

“Do you come to this park often?” A woman’s voice, powerful but quiet.

“No, I tend not to walk here...it reminds me of my old life, something better left behind me.” The man speaking...there was something odd about the voice, something that went beyond familiarity.

Tim peered over the edge quietly, squinting in the light of the torches lining the pathways. Just as he had thought, it was Daniel and Celia. Out for a walk, no doubt. He had been attracted to Celia, but realized that there was no way she would understand the way he wanted to care for her.

Sighing, Tim rolled onto his back and closed his eyes as the conversation became quieter. It doesn’t matter anymore...Daniel’s there, and he can do a better job than I ever could. Besides, it’d be wrong to butt in now. Still...I wonder if he understands, if he cares like I do.

Cursing himself silently, Tim sat up and stared upward through the leaves. I can’t let my emotions get in the way of this.

{Your heart says yes. Your head says no. Your head will use reason and rules; your heart will use truth. Your emotions can be misguided, misused, and misinterpreted. However, they are never wrong; it is merely the distortion of truth that prompts most people to discourage trusting your heart.}

Tim almost fell off the branch as the voice drew nearer with each word. It was quiet and raspy, an odd combination that didn’t seem to fit any mold he tried to put it in. Finally, a silver bird about the size of his head, with a wingspan of at least three feet and about two feet long emerged from the upper branches of the oak tree.

Did I just hear a bird talking to me? {Indeed, you speak with your mind. This is good!} The voice rasped louder in what could only be thought of as a laugh of sorts. {You wouldn’t believe what some people try doing...yelling as though we’re deaf, talking as if other people can understand us and getting all sorts of strange looks...it’s a lesson in intelligence, it certainly is.}

Tim extended an arm tentatively and the bird hopped onto it, surprisingly light for its size. Quietly, he said “I’m...Tim. And you are...?”

The bird opened its beak in what Tim felt as a smile. {I don’t really have a name, sorry. I can tell you that I’m a Peregrine falcon, though much larger than any normal bird, that much is certain. Some humans would think of me as a familiar. I prefer the term “animal companion.” You may call me what you like, provided it’s not insulting, demeaning, or foul.}

Tim chuckled at the joke, and then thought for a moment. “Mercury sounds decent enough, eh?”

{I can tell you’re a bright one, yes. I accept the name Mercury, and will do my best to remember it.} Mercury hopped off Tim’s arm and onto the oak branch he was sitting on. {However, getting back to your woman troubles...}

Tim glared at the bird for a moment, and then sighed. Remembering to keep his voice down, he glanced down at the pair below. “It’s just...they seem happy. Why should I interrupt that?”

{Many reasons I could give you, egret.} Ignoring another one of Tim’s indignant looks, Mercury continued. {However, the most prominent one, and one I think you’ll agree with, is that something is seriously wrong here. Not only did you know both of them beforehand...but you can hear something in his voice, can’t you?}

Tim grudgingly agreed, then whispered “So why ‘egret,’ huh?”

Mercury gave the impression of a grin. {Your skinny legs, mostly.}

“Hey!” Barely remembering to keep his voice down, Tim swatted at the bird. “My legs are just fine.”

{Yes. Fine. Fine and skinny. Skinny like leftover chicken bones.}

Tim just stared at Mercury for a second. “There is something seriously wrong with you. How can you talk about a fellow bird like that?”

{Chickens are good for one thing: eating. That, and their eggs, which also happen to be quite edible. Coincidence? I think not!}

Suppressing laughter, Tim glanced down once more at Celia and Daniel, who were now moving away from the bench and deeper into the park. “We’d better follow.”

{Yes, an excellent idea. A masterful plan. Your powers of ingenuity are so magnificent; one might never realize that we are, in fact, doing the only thing we obviously can do.}

Tim slipped down the tree and followed, keeping a safe distance. Mercury flew ahead, keeping a close eye on all three. {I shall keep watch over you, Egret. Fear not.}

~

Darren stood on the highest point of the kingdom, at the peak of the castle tower. With the wind whipping his cloak around him, he stared off towards the south, leaving his vision unfocused, his memories vivid, and his spirit undaunted.

“All this I will give to You...if You will fall down and worship me.”
- posted by Nick @ 9/24/2005 06:16:00 PM