To the reader: welcome! You can find the beginning by clicking on this link and scrolling down to the bottom. You'll have to progress through the Archives (below the "About Me" part on either the right side or the very bottom of the page) by clicking them...I apologize. Once the story is complete, I will certainly arrange everything better. Enjoy.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
 

Chapter 34: Lost Before the Dawn


Author's note: This chapter was planned and half-written before I even got to chapter 7. Once I got to it, I added a ton of detail, making sure to tie in previous hints. Any events that seem similar to real life are, once again, predicted through the story. Enjoy this chapter...it'll be one of the best.

Celia woke up first. She couldn’t have known that, however, because she was in a dark, cramped, and obviously closed cell. She sat up slowly and felt around until she reached a corner. Putting her back to it, she sighed and rubbed a hand across her forehead. She wasn’t dead...but why? Because there’s always backup oxygen onboard the ship. Whoever had them captured had counted on it in order to keep them alive, but unconscious. Clever.

A stirring from the adjacent corner caused her to shift positions and call out, “Who’s there?”

“Of all the cells they had,” Sara groaned, her words muffled slightly, “they had to put me in the one with you?”

Celia’s slight smile of relief was masked by her rough tone of voice. “Yeah, well, I was kinda hoping the whole ordeal would put you under completely. But then I figured you were used to having a lack of air flowing to your brain, and my hope died...”

Sara sat up. “I don’t suppose you know if Darren’s here or not?”

“I think this cell only fits two,” Celia replied.

Sara sighed and waved her hand. Nothing happened. Panicked, she concentrated hard on creating light, but still nothing happened. A slight weight on her right arm drew her probing fingers. It was some kind of bracelet. It must be what was blocking her power. “Celia, do you have a bracelet on?”

Celia felt her arms, and at length replied “Nope. Why?”

“Because I do...and it’s blocking abilities that would prove useful in our escape.” A sliver of light entered the room. Total blackness became shadows and Sara closed her eyes to adjust. Opening them after a moment, she saw that their door was opening slowly. Celia tensed for an attack. The door opened completely and both women shaded their eyes and tried to get a look at their captors. Three men stood looking down at them. Their faces couldn’t be made out completely, but two definitely had bone-white skin, while the third had a healthy tan.

Sara spoke up first. “Who are you?” The darker man, the one in front; he was startled to silence but hid it well, and motioned for the other two to leave. They complied, and the door shut behind them. A dim light came on in the cell, lit by some unknown energy. It was still too dark to make out his features, however.

Celia echoed Sara’s earlier words. “Who are you? And what do you plan to do with us?”

The man paused as if thinking. For the first time, he spoke. “You know how aliens torment those they have captured, exploring them with humiliating probes?” Sara swallowed hard before the man continued. “Well, we don’t do that here.”

The light brightened slowly and Sara got a good look at the man’s face. It couldn’t be...“KEITH!” Sara stood up as quickly as she dared and threw her arms around him.

After a moment of tensing, Keith smiled and hugged her back. “I had no idea you were in this world. It’s good to see you again...aside from being your enemy, that is.” He frowned and pulled away. “I heard Darren was here, but I wasn’t given clearance high enough for him. They’re treating him as a unique case.” He chuckled. “I always knew he was special...”

Sara grinned playfully. “Watch what you say about my husband.” She enjoyed his shock for the brief time it lasted.

“Husband? You’re kidding! Wow...” Keith shook his head and glanced at Celia. “And this is...”

Celia spoke before Sara could, still sitting in her corner. “Celia. And that’s all you’re getting from me, alien scum.”

Keith laughed. “Alien? In a sense, perhaps. I’m not a Laecan, if that’s what you’re saying. I’m from the same place Sara is: Silver Lake.”

Sara heard an unfamiliar word. “Lae...can?”

Keith nodded. “It means ‘Searcher.’ They’ve been in space for quite some time, searching for something they don’t know completely. They’re not quite wanderers, but not quite stationary.”

Sara’s next question was “Well, how did you join them?”

Keith winced. “Join? I was...recruited, you might say. I didn’t die in the cathedral, see. I came close, they tell me, but didn’t die. The cathedral took me to a place on Shirn I didn’t recognize.” He grinned. “Probably because I’d never been there before, right? But anyways, I was lying on the ground, bleeding and in a considerable amount of pain, when suddenly I was in a warm, comfortable bed. When I got better through advanced science, I was on this ship, and I’ve never left it since. I’ve gotten all my knowledge of Shirn from the electronic database here.”

Sara raised her right arm, the one with the tight bracelet. “And what’s this for?”

Keith shrugged. “I wasn’t given clearance for that either. We were instructed to put one on you before you woke up. In fact, that was our priority.” Sara sighed. Figures. Keith smiled slightly. “I’m sorry I can’t do much for you. Technically, we’re on opposing sides. I suppose I could get you a better cell, though.

Sara tilted her head to the side, cheering up. “Would you? That would be wonderful. It’d still be nice to share it with Celia, of course.”

Keith nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.” He looked around with some remorse. “I wish I didn’t have to do this, but...standard procedure is to ask you questions. Questions like...what ship were you on? Why are you fighting us?”

Sara replied, “Our ship was captured, right? The ship has a big number on the side. That’s the one you’re looking for. And to be honest...I don’t know why I’m fighting. I was recruited because I’m a good pilot.”

Celia snorted, but said nothing else as Keith turned to her. “And you, Miss Celia? Anything else you want to add?” A withering glare was her only response. Keith shrugged. “Very well.” He turned back to Sara. “I really wish I could get you released or something...but...I can only do so much. And I do owe the Laecans a measure of loyalty for bringing me back from the edge of death.”

Sara nodded. “I understand. And when you look at it like that, I owe them some gratitude for saving you.”

Keith left the room and Celia immediately turned to Sara. “Was he telling the truth?” Sara nodded, causing Celia to sigh. “Well, it actually doesn’t matter. Even if we do get a bigger cell, they’ll just get the information eventually. From reports, they have no qualms about that...” Sara shivered slightly and closed her eyes, settling into her corner. Darren...please be alright.

The two women were able to measure time by meals slid through a slot in the door. It passed slowly, as neither person was at ease with the other or their surroundings. Two days after they initially awoke in their cell, their sleep was disturbed by a group of unfamiliar faces. They were led through a hallway not unlike the ones on Destiny, the shuffling of feet and the occasional squeak of shoes on floor breaking the silence.

Nobody was prepared for the shudder that rocked the entire floor and made the lights dim considerably. The guards looked amongst themselves for a brief moment and sent one ahead to find out what was going on. From the muttered talk that Sara heard, they were indeed on a ship, and not just any ship; they were on the largest command ship in the enemy fleet. Celia pointed down the hallway. “Look, he’s coming back.”

The guard returned pushing another prisoner in front of him, walking slowly with his head down towards the group. The two foremost guards reached out and grabbed the man. “Who are you? How did you get here?” One tilted the man’s head up and gasped loudly. “T-55B! Who let you out?” His other hand clasped the prisoner’s shoulder.

Acerin reached out and twisted the guard’s hands, then slammed the man into the roof, snapping his neck. “I don’t know what’s more insulting: that you don’t think I could’ve escaped by myself, or that you don’t remember my name.”

Sara blinked. “Acerin? You’re here with the Laecans?”

Acerin shook his head as he felled two more guards with his bare hands. “I’m with nobody now. I don’t follow you guys anymore; I just happen to share your objectives for the time being. Milar was the one who thought we should search for you.” The last guard screamed agonizingly loud as he fell to the ground, burning like a torch.

The guard who had returned with Acerin stepped out of the shadows. “Good to see you’re in one piece, Sara.”

Sara nodded with a wide smile. “It’s good to see both of you...but how are you up here?”

Celia coughed. “Can we wait until we get away from the smoke and fire and head to wherever you’re going to take us before Barbie learns all?”

Milar shrugged. “Sure. We’re meeting the rest of the group on the next floor of the ship.” They began walking. “We’re all here. The whole group was gathered after you and Darren took off in that ship. One by one the Laecans came and abducted us, some in broad daylight and others in the dead of night. Acerin put up the most fight, so they naturally gave him the most security.”

Acerin chuckled. “By security, he means that they thought more guards meant I was less inclined to leave.” He held up his arm, drawing Sara’s gaze to his wrist. “They also thought I was one of them; they thought my powers were suppressed. But they don’t understand my magic. They can’t hold me anywhere.”

Milar rolled his eyes. “Anyways, there’s a chapel on the next floor that the Laecans seem to avoid right now. That’s where we’re going. We’ve pretty much been prisoners until Acerin broke out, and that’s when they started moving us around. About that time, everyone except Legerra was able to escape. We broke him out soon after, and headed for your cell after examining some blueprints. That’s our side. How’ve you been?”

Sara sighed. “I’ve learned my father is still alive and the commander of Destiny, I’ve been forcibly separated from Darren once, married him soon after, and had two more attempts made at taking us away from each other since then. I’m apparently the best pilot in existence, but I’ve been captured, inevitably leading to a decline in morale amongst the troops on Destiny. Oh, and now I’m on an alien ship in an unknown part of space during a jailbreak.”

Milar grinned. “So...pretty good, then?”

Sara grinned back. “You know it.”

Celia glanced at Sara. She seems more at ease among these people...she’s able to joke and laugh even while in enemy territory and hostile grounds. How? Why? Acerin noticed her staring and slowed his walk slightly, leaning towards Celia. “You seem close to the blonde. Did you brush her hair?”

Celia allowed herself a small smile. “No, I hear Darren did that.”

Acerin grinned. “Whipped like a dog. I wonder if he fetches her slippers...”

Sara stared at both of them. “Uh...hi?”

Celia ignored her. “I’m Celia. I have the unpleasant task of overseeing Sara.”

Acerin nodded. “I’m sorry. It must be difficult correcting a monkey’s work.”

Sara colored. “I’m right here!”

Another shudder rocked the ship as they reached the stairs. The rumbling increased as they drew closer to the chapel, then ceased when they reached the wooden door. The two foremost people, Acerin and Milar, exchanged looks. Milar pushed the button that revealed the opening, which they stepped through cautiously.

Fraydon and Thendat greeted them with smiles. Legerra leaned against one of the walls near the door, looking around nervously. The chapel was a larger one than in Destiny, built to accommodate more people. Rows of pews dominated the floor, with three pathways leading down both sides and the middle. Stained glass adorned the far wall, since there were no windows inside the ship. The lights overhead were bright and cheery, giving the place a peaceful atmosphere. About a hundred feet down the middle aisle was a large high-backed chair, turned to face the door.

Darren sat in the chair, hands on the armrests with his head bowed. He was wearing the clothing he had used on Shirn; his cloak covered him entirely and his hood was cast over his face.

Acerin leaned against the closed door and motioned to Sara. “Go on. Run to him and tell him we were being mean to you. He’ll listen to you sob and moan, then comfort you and we can all move on.”

Sara glared at her, irritated. “Shut up.”

Celia nudged her. “You sure you’re not going to beg forgiveness for something he doesn’t care about? Your concerns come before everyone else’s, of course.”

“I said...SHUT UP!” Blind with her anger, Sara threw a punch that Celia was clearly not expecting. It connected with her chest just below her ribs, causing Celia to fall to her knees and gasp for breath.

Fraydon knelt beside her and was shoved away. She looked at Sara disbelievingly. “What has gotten into you? What was that for?”

Sara clenched her fists and took a deep breath. What has gotten into me? Why would I do something like that? The atmosphere’s peace seemed to mock her now. Another deep breath, another deep breath...Keep breathing. Keep breathing. She let her hands relax and sank to the ground. “I’m...sorry. I...I didn’t know I was...” Her voice trailed off.

“Do you see? Even now she holds back. What good does that do?”

Milar stepped forward and unsheathed his sword. “That wasn’t Darren.” He raised his voice and called out “Who’s there? Show yourself!”

“Very well. It’s not going to matter, anyways.” A man clothed exactly like Darren stepped from behind the large chair where Darren was sitting. The shadow of his hood concealed his face a great deal, and even Thendat could not make out his facial features. “I know all of you. You are his companions.”

Milar shifted uneasily. “That’s correct. What do you want with us?” Thendat noticed the shadows further behind the chair still moving. There were others back there, and probably more than two. There was something about this man that made them all inherently uneasy; that was probably why Sara was on edge.

“I don’t want anything with any of you except for Sara and Darren. The rest of you may leave the ship on the escape pods downstairs, if you wish.” Nobody moved. “If you do not want to get involved, I strongly suggest you move along...now.” The threat was unmistakable. Still, nobody moved.

Sara stood up and turned around in time to dodge a small shuriken that embedded itself into door, near Acerin’s head. Acerin shrugged and moved slightly to his left. Sara blinked. The man’s arm hadn’t moved visibly, and the speed of the shuriken made it almost impossible to see.

Another star embedded itself into the door, causing Acerin to sigh and move away from the door completely. Sara dodged another shuriken. One flew through her hair, narrowly missing her ear. Another grazed her leg, drawing a small amount of blood. When it seemed that the man was done, at least for the moment, Sara exhaled, realizing she’d been holding her breath. “Why are you attacking me? I’ve done nothing to you!”

The man tilted his head to the side. “You don’t think so? Your actions have affected the entire world of Shirn. Only when you have been destroyed can-“

“What are you doing???” A different shadow from behind the chair moved out to stand next to the cloaked man. “There was to be no killing!”

Sara gasped. “Antonio? What are you doing here?”

Antonio smiled unpleasantly. “I’ve come for you, obviously. I can’t have you if you’re destroyed now, can I?”

Milar cut in. “There’s not going to be any destroying of people. We’re taking Darren and leaving back for Shirn. There’s no reason to involve any of us anymore.”

The taller man laughed. “Simpleminded fools, both you and the one next to me. You don’t have a single clue as to what the grand picture is. I do, so your best decision would be to remain silent, let me finish what I came here for without interrupting, and then leave quietly.” Antonio started to speak more, but was knocked unconscious by a blow to his head from the man’s fist.

Milar stepped forward, sword at the ready. “Your best decision would be to stop attacking and step back behind that chair until we leave.”

Legerra stood up from the wall and walked closer to Milar. “Y-yeah...you’re gonna...gonna have to back off.”

The cloaked man turned to Legerra, amused. “You? Don’t make me laugh. You’re a pawn. You can’t even control yourself.” Legerra’s sword flew from his hand and towards the man, who dropped it on the ground. “You can’t control your impulses...”

Legerra appeared to be struggling with himself, but gave up and watched his hand travel to his belt and tug on a knife. Milar turned to him. “Legerra, what are you do-” Legerra ran the dagger through Milar’s heart, sinking it in to the hilt. Milar coughed up blood and stared into Legerra’s eyes. “You...”

Legerra leaned close and whispered in Milar’s ear. “Please...end it...now...” Milar closed his eyes and nodded, a single tear trailing down his cheek. Then, using every ounce of strength to summon a warrior’s yell, he shoved Legerra away, sending Legerra’s head flying behind the chair with a stroke of his sword. He turned towards Sara, Fraydon, and Thendat slowly, his own sword dropping from rapidly numbing fingers as he fell to his knees.

“Don’t...fault him...for it...Legerra was always...a slave to his...emotions...just remember us for...the warriors we were...” Milar coughed again as the blood began to pool at his feet. “Remember us...fighting by...your...side...” His eyes dimmed as he hit the ground.

Sara swallowed hard to contain the bile she felt rising in her throat. Celia was over in the corner retching while Fraydon was kneeling over her, and Thendat stared quietly at the man. Acerin took in the dead Milar and Legerra’s headless body with an expressionless look on his face. Throughout the whole ordeal, Darren remained in the same position: hands on the armrests and head bowed low. The man looked at Sara. “Will you surrender your life peacefully and prevent more of your group from this kind of fate?”

Sara looked from her friends to the man, then back at her friends again. “All you are doing...is giving me one more reason...” Thendat glanced at Sara, startled. “...not to give in...” The bracelet on her arm cracked. “...not to give up...” A soft blue glow emanated from the front of her pilot’s uniform; she still wore the pendant underneath her clothes. “...and to BLOT you from existence.” The bracelet shattered completely, and Sara’s power was hindered no more. Her hair turned white, her uniform changed to a cloak, and she floated gently to the ground. Thendat gasped as she turned to face the man. Her eyes were now completely black.

“Impressive. But you don’t really think it’s going to be that easy, do you?” The man threw back the hood of his cloak. He had short brown hair, like Darren’s, but white streaks ran through the length of this man’s hair. His skin was pale, whiter than most others, but not quite as white as the Laecans’. His eyes were blacker than Sara’s, if such a thing was possible. “You do, however, deserve to know my name before you die. I am Jared.”

Sara lashed out with pure light, aiming for his head. He blocked it with an arm and retaliated, sending her flying with a wave of lightning. Sara attacked again, this time with two separate beams that curled and danced about the room, narrowly missing the chair in which Darren sat. Jared blocked and countered again, fire springing from his hands and surrounding Sara.

When the blaze died down, Sara stood untouched by the flames. Jared raised an eyebrow. “Your emotions are powerful. Any lesser man would have been killed by these spells. But I tire of this already, and will not have you continue this to your advantage. Ice Fury!” Thousands of small ice shards formed and flew towards Sara, who barely had time to bring up a defense before being overpowered and pounded by pain.

The light around her faded somewhat as Fraydon rushed to her side. “Sara!”

Sara coughed. “I won’t be defeated by him. He will not bring more pain on Darren.”

Jared stopped his attacks. “You don’t want to bring pain to him? Well, then, I think there’s a way we can work this out without anybody else dying.”

Sara eyed him suspiciously. “I’m listening. Be simple and brief.”

The man laughed. “There are no simple or brief explanations when it comes to Darren. Haven’t you figured that out yet? But I will do what I can to make it understandable.” He sighed and glanced at Darren. “I did what I could for him, but to no avail. He’s too weak to bear his own burdens.”

Sara clenched her fists and stepped forward. “What did you do to him?”

Jared shrugged. “I didn’t do anything except help him remember some lost memories...memories he forced himself to forget. Memories of a time long ago, before he even knew you existed, before he knew anyone at all.”

Darren spoke for the first time, his voice hollow. “That…was a line…you should never…have crossed…”

Jared laughed. “Anger! A common reaction, usually when you’re in denial. I don’t fault you for it; you don’t know any better.” He focused his gaze on Sara and spoke as if to a child. “You see, Darren is half-human, half-Laecan. That’s why his eyes turn black. You’re obviously part-Laecan as well, because your eyes have the same quality and more of their pale skin than Darren does. The commander is your father, is he not?”

Sara didn’t say anything, and Jared continued. “As I thought. I brought you up here, you see. I planted the book about you being royalty so that the chancellor would send you up here. You are royalty, this is true, but nobody knew.”

“But why bring me up here, if only to kill me? And you still haven’t told me why you want me dead!” interrupted Sara.

“In time, impatient one.” Jared looked perturbed that someone would stop his story. “As for why I want you dead...you cause pain to Darren by simply living. You have brought chaos. The winds of change are blowing fiercely across the realm of Shirn. If pushed the wrong direction, the entire universe will be thrown into total chaos from which there is no return. I come to bring balance, to even everything out.”

His words stung Sara. “Just how do I bring Darren pain?”

“You weaken him. You make him less than what he could be. He couldn’t even kill you during a simulated battle; how is he going to be able to vanquish an enemy in a real war? He’s a disgrace to his father.”

Darren spoke in the same hollow tone again. “My father was only the poor mayor of Fimas. He died while I was still an infant.”

Jared nodded, but was obviously displeased. “You cling to that, though there is no logic in it. So the woman who I left you with did exactly as she promised.” He mused to himself. “Though it’s strange you haven’t recovered your memories of that, either...”

Darren raised his head an inch. “You’re saying the woman who raised me wasn’t my mother? And you say you’re my father? Many have made claims about me, but none as outrageous as those. I may have some doubts about my origins, but the proof you would need-“

“My proof is infallible.” The man pulled down on the neck of his cloak and opened the top three buttons on his shirt, revealing a gray patch of skin identical to Darren’s. “The title of Feladána is only passed down from father to son.” Darren’s face drained of all color as his father continued to speak. “When translated from old Shirnish, Feladána literally means ‘Death Follows Him.’ The common Shirnish spoken now changes Feladána into ‘Destroyer of Life.’ An ancient language long forgotten by all but a few great Laecans translates it into ‘Unending Unseen.’ A perfect, unstoppable, immortal, one-man apocalypse.”

The last piece of the puzzle clicked into place. Sara’s mind flew back to the shuttle, the lieutenant’s recognition of the song from the cathedral, how he hanged himself after shaming Darren to avoid bringing greater pain upon himself, the concerned look on her professor’s face, the collected deeds of Darren and the violence of them, how he’d had almost called himself by that name when she’d playfully locked the door…

Her own words drifted back to her, mocking and harsh in her own ears. “He’s afraid of becoming a cold killer…” She’d been so wrong. He hadn’t been afraid of becoming one…he was afraid of reverting to one.

Jared’s voice scattered her thoughts. “You inflict pain upon Darren even as he looks at you. You are mortal; he is not. His anger was diverted from people to rocks when he met you. The tremendous burden of watching your loved one decay before your very eyes is not to be placed upon him, and I refuse to allow my son to hurt himself.”

Sara smiled sardonically. “So this is how you treat your daughter-in-law? I didn’t really expect a warm reception, but threatening death...”

“You still don’t see the connection? Perhaps I didn’t make it clear to you...” Jared stared directly into Sara’s eyes. “You are an outside influence on Shirn. You do not belong here.”

Sara glanced at the group of people behind her. Celia, Thendat, Fraydon...they didn’t understand what he was saying either. Acerin was nowhere to be seen. “Obviously, I don’t belong here. I come from Silver Lake, as does Darren.”

Jared sighed. “You still don’t get it. Yes, you don’t belong here, but my point is that Shirn does not exist as you think of existing. Shirn is a figment of Darren’s imagination. His power, your power, this world...it’s all ‘not real.’” He ran a finger down the side of the high-backed chair and smiled. “A very convincing illusion.”

Sara blinked. “So since you’re here, aren’t you fake like the rest of us?”

Jared shook his head. “Yourself, myself, some of the ones behind me, a few others, we are real in the truest sense of the word. Silver Lake does exist, mind you, but only to an extent. The cathedral in Silver Lake, all of Shirn and everything with it, even these spaceships...it’s all inside Darren’s head. His feelings became so powerful and his will to escape reality became so strong that this world was formed, but not truly.”

Sara turned to Darren, who seemed more responsive now. “But I thought you said you built a cathedral and were transported to Silver Lake?”

Darren nodded slowly. “I thought I did.”

“How deep does it go, Darren?” Sara’s hand trembled slightly.

“I...don’t know...”

“You see?” Jared didn’t gloat; his tone was matter-of-fact as if discussing the time of day rather than killing her. “He exerts some control over the world, but can’t fully command it because he cannot concentrate. With you gone, he can focus on restoring both worlds and eliminate chaos.”

Sara glared at him. “I still haven’t heard what’s wrong with this world. Seems fine to me.”

The man pointed at her. “You. You disturbed Shirn’s balance by changing his. This world is constantly repeating itself. Nothing is changing except change itself, and nobody can escape. In order for Shirn to be free of this ‘time loop,’ you must die.”

Antonio stumbled back to his feet. “No! She must not die!” Another blow sent him sprawling to the ground again.

“So...you...” Darren lifted his head for the first time, black eyes staring at his father. “You are the one responsible for the constant attempts to keep Sara from me.”

Jared nodded. “Yes, that was me. I was doing what was best for both of you, wouldn’t you agree? Or would you prefer to share your memories with her? Go on...she’d love to see them. All those people you killed, those heartbroken families...all in the name of money and personal gain.”

Darren closed his eyes. “I just want...to help people...” His eyes opened suddenly and he turned to Jared. “Why did you leave me with parents on Shirn, rather than caring for me yourself?”

His father shrugged. “What was an assassin supposed to do with a baby? I had to make a living, and I knew you’d figure out your powers in time.”

Darren nodded. “I know my powers. I know everything...I know my lives...” He dropped his head again.

Jared sighed. “The bad you have done will forever outweigh the good. You cannot redeem yourself. But you can leave everything behind...and Shirn will disappear. There will be no wrong or right in the lives of people who do not exist.”

Darren stood suddenly. “I could.” He stepped into the middle aisle and started walking towards the door.

Thendat stood in his way. “Darren, you need to think about this. There might be another way.”

Darren ignored him and pushed him roughly aside. “Forest loner.” The bracelet on his arm was preventing him from holding them against a wall with his magic until he could leave. Fraydon was shoved away in the same manner. “Mother hen.” Sara stood between him and the door, still clothed in white. “...the innocence is gone...gone forever.” Darren stepped around her and continued his walking.

Sara grabbed his arm. “Darren!” He pushed her aside and kept up his slow purposeful walk away from them all. The door slid open as he approached. Sara reached out after him as if to hold him back. “Don’t go…Deacon…”

Darren stopped. That name had not reached his ears for many a month. His fists clenched and unclenched. He was battling himself for his very sanity. Sara took a step closer. “You don’t have to fight this alone! What do you think we’re here for? What do you think I’m here for?”

Darren whirled and grabbed her by her shoulders. He opened his mouth to yell something, anything…and saw her eyes. Wide, deep, glistening eyes that rendered him speechless and shook his resolve. Those eyes had seen him do good and evil. They had watched him kill, heal, and take lives to save others. They stared at him now with calm acceptance.

Darren shook his head violently, trying to ignore her eyes. “Don’t you get it? I’m not who you think I am. Darren Kinsley is just a label given to me by people that don’t exist! Nothing more than a title, like...like...” He faltered for a second, as if about to speak one of them and decided against it. “...many others. I may have had hundreds of different names at one time. Who knows? I sure don’t!”

“You are Darren Kinsley. It’s who you’ve become. The mask you wore for so long has molded to your face. You can’t change who you were, but you can keep who you are.” Sara stared directly at him. “And as much as you babble on about trying to shield me, saying I wouldn’t understand, and pretending you have to figure it out by yourself…you know you can’t. If I weren’t here, you’d go on living the same way. You’re not trying to shield me, protect me, or help yourself. You just don’t believe I’d accept you for who you really are.”

Darren blinked. “Perhaps. Perhaps not. Does it matter now?” He stepped through the door and walked out into the hallway.

Sara knelt and bowed her head. Jared smiled. “So this is what two married people look like. Be sure to let me know how your ‘happily ever after’ goes.”

“That...IDIOT!” Sara stood, her cloak disappearing and changing into armor. The soft blue light from the pendant turned hard and cold. White flames danced along its surface as she blasted through the chapel wall towards Darren, leaving a gaping hole. “You think you’re the only one who has the capacity to self-sacrifice?” She caught up with him and smashed him through another wall. Grabbing him by the hood, she threw him back into the chapel. “You think you can just walk away and everything will be fine? You can’t.” She lifted him by the neck of his cloak and stared deep into his eyes. “This world will keep on existing no matter what you do, because now it’s my world too.”

Darren grabbed at his head, falling to his knees. “It hurts...agh...this is your work...Jared...” He mumbled incoherently as he began to tremble visibly.

Sara sighed. “I don’t care how many people you’ve killed or what you’ve done...you have shown me what love is.” She reached out and touched his forehead. “Remember?”

A jolt of electricity ran through Darren. “Ungggh!” His vision clouded and cleared just as quickly. Every treasured memory they shared came to him with startling lucidity. He watched himself defend her, comfort her, protect her, and risk death for her. “Yes...I remember...thank you.” He stood slowly, glaring at Jared. “You upset my balance, and the only way to fix that is to destroy you.”

Jared stepped closer. “Then no matter the consequences, I must balance everything.” Darkness gathered in front of his outstretched hand. He pointed at Darren, vulnerable and in pain. “Die.”

The stream of darkness connected with Darren and sent him to the opposite wall, holding him there. Sara moved to cut off the beam, but noticed Jared eyeing the rest of the group. In a panic, she ran over to Celia, flung her over her shoulder, grabbed Thendat with her left hand and Fraydon with her right. More darkness flew towards them and Sara leaped from pew to pew to escape the deadly attack. With a sinking heart she realized Darren was still being hurt by the beam, and she flung all three of the people she was carrying outside the door through the hole in the wall.

Darren muttered something as the beam disappeared and he collapsed. Sara rushed over to him, one eye always watching for another attack. “Deacon! Don’t give in...fight him, fight him with everything you’ve got!”

Darren shuddered and opened his eyes. “Look out...he’s going for you...”

Sara turned and faced Jared. “It’s just you and me, now.”

Jared nodded. “Pity that you’re weakened from our earlier fight. You know it’s inevitable that you will die. I’d offer you a painless death, but you wouldn’t accept it, so I’ll just be quick.” He pointed both hands at Sara, a dark aura forming. His voice became menacing. “Est nae krineth...”

Darren listened and tried to crawl forward. “...No! Sara, move!”

She didn’t. “I do this for you, Darren.”

A barely perceptible sob escaped his lips. “No...Sara...Iclkethe...”

The spell was complete. Sara braced herself for a huge blow. A wave of flame pounded her barrier even as ice shards hit it. Lightning struck and the floor shook at the same time. Sara’s eyes widened as she felt all elements attack at once. This shouldn’t be possible...

She fell to the ground as shield shattered. Darren renewed his crawling and reached her side, staring at her face. “Sara...wake up...”

She opened her eyes and smiled. “I knew...I could take him. What does...that word mean...anyways?” They wobbled to their feet, supporting each other.

Jared sighed, annoyed. “Enough!” He waved his hand and Sara felt her will weaken. He mind numbed and began to slow. Her eyes closed of their own volition as Darren caught her, startled.

“Sara!” He lowered her to the ground gently. “Icklethe!” Just like in the dream. Beloved. “It means Beloved...” Icklethe. Beloved. The One I Live For. “It means...it means...you are the one I live for...so don’t...don’t leave me here alone...” He buried his face in his hands and wept.

Thendat stood up a few seconds later. He stepped back into the room in time to see Darren stand and turn to face Jared. “This...this is my world.” Darren’s voice grew stronger with every word. “You have no right to say what is balance or what is chaos in my world. My world, my rules. It’s time you learned that.” The bracelet on his arm melted and dripped to the floor in a pile of molten metal.

Jared nodded. “Very well. I leave you, then. I leave you with your anger to direct at whomever you please.” He, his companions, and Antonio disappeared suddenly and without ceremony.

Darren clenched his fists as his aura pulsed brighter and brighter. Acerin was still nowhere to be found. Thendat motioned the others into the room and they rushed over to Sara, checking her pulse. At the same time, dozens of Laecans broke down the door and came through the hole in the wall. “Surrender, prisoners!”

Darren turned towards them, grinning madly. “Come. See why I am called the Feladána.” He took a deep breath as his voice deepened considerably. “Unending Unseen...Destroyer of Life...let the Feladána come forth!” His eyes were no longer black but had assumed an unearthly black glow. His hair became streaked with white, like his father’s.

The music from the cathedral resounded in the heads of everyone present. Darren laughed mockingly at the shocked expressions on the soldiers’ faces. “You know this tune, don’t you? The Baroun! The Song of the Feladána! The Eternal Symphony! And now...” His tone became matter-of-fact, chilling all present. “Now you will die.”

Fraydon scooped up Sara and moved behind Darren, heading towards the chair. Thendat followed, carrying Celia, who was still a bit winded from the punch Sara had given her. They stood quietly in the center aisle and watched Darren.

One of the soldiers charged with a stun wand, crackling with electricity. He didn’t come close to touching Darren before his feet flew out from under him. He hovered in the air for a brief moment before being slammed into the ground violently. Darren waited for the Laecans with guns to fire, snatching their bullets from the air and dropping them at his feet.

He tired quickly of that game, however, and slowly walked forward to the nearest one. Lifting him by the throat, he formed a blade of energy on his wrist and impaled the soldier on it. A different man came slower, trying to fake a punch while concealing a knife. Darren froze the man. He would be forced to watch as his comrades died.

Throwing him to the side, he faced the other armed warriors. “If you hadn’t brought these people here...they never would have died!” A slow blue fire consumed the better half of the Laecans who still fought against him.

Darren shook his head and extended his right hand. The frozen warrior was given freedom to move again and charged madly, screaming gibberish. The glowing red stone in Darren’s right hand flashed, and the man was turned to stone. He faced the remaining warriors, exhaling loudly. “Is there any who would try their skills? Any at all?” Some fled, but the bravest stayed behind. “Very well.”

Darren faded completely from view, only to reappear behind the group. Three necks were twisted before anyone noticed what was going on. The nearest Laecan screamed and fainted while the others took a step back. Thendat and Fraydon watched quietly as the remaining soldiers died slow, painful deaths.

The fires around the chapel died down slowly as Darren took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his heart jumping when he heard Fraydon’s voice. “Darren! She’s alive!” He rushed over to her side, kneeling beside her.

Sara floated in a sea of gray. Where is this place? It doesn’t seem normal...“Sara...can you hear me?” Yes! Yes, I can hear you! But she couldn’t speak...her mouth was closed somehow...Darren reached out and squeezed her hand. “I’m right here...hold on...” Sara let herself be assured by his hand that she would wake up. He’ll be there...but...what if his father was right? What if I can end his pain by just letting go? No! This is what Darren wants...he said so himself. I’ll hold on then...for him.



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Everything here is MINE! MINE I tell you! All of it! Ideas, characters, pictures, EVERYTHING is property of and owned by Nick Higgins! Unless I say you can use it, obviously. Copyright Peregrin, Inc. 2005